It’s crazy, exciting, and a little bit sad to see how fast Logan is growing up. I love getting to witness the different skills he masters each day — his most recent: climbing on and off the couch. And now, trying to climb off our bed…which is a lot higher than the couch, ha. I’m also noticing that he’s starting to mimic some of our actions. Case in point, I snap my fingers to the beat of the music when we’re dancing around the living room and I noticed he’s snapping along too. Mind you he can’t snap hard enough to make the noise, but he’s got the right motion.
All of these things are definitely making both Myles and I more aware of some of the not-so-good habits we could pass on to Logan and our daughter. And I’m not talking about things like the more-often-than-not messy house, I think with two kids (and maybe more) it’s going to be like this for a while. Rather, things like our use of the word “fat.”
Both Myles and I have said things like, “Ugh, I feel so fat.” Or, “I just ate so much, I probably gained 10 pounds.” You get the idea. While, this didn’t seem like that big a deal before, I’ve been seeing more and more articles popping up about body image and the pressure kids as young as kindergarten are feeling to look a certain way. Our kids are definitely soaking everything up, and the last thing I want is to be an added negative source in an already over-saturated world that’s pushing a certain beauty/attractive standard.
Self-consciousness about changing bodies is part of growing up, but I’d like to start leading by example so that Logan and his siblings have a sound-base from which to judge themselves, and hopefully when those negative thoughts start to creep in it’ll be easier for them to not only shut them out, but to come talk to us about their anxieties. Here are three things Myles and I are starting to be more conscious about not doing/saying:
1. Using the word “fat” nonchalantly in every day speech. I’m more guilty of this than Myles, but there are some days I’m feeling super bloated or my belly is feeling particularly heavy and I’ll throw out the word fat — even though I’m currently pregnant…
2. Seeing cookies/brownies/etc. as a reward you get for eating mostly healthy. Treats aren’t the enemy, but moderation is key. Or if you have one too, many saying, “I need to work out extra hard because of it.” We’ve all over-indulged at one point or another, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your tummy may hurt after, but it doesn’t make all the healthy eating/workouts you’ve done leading up to that point irrelevant. I think this goes hand-in-hand with being kinder to ourselves, and not so harsh a judge. Life’s all about balance, right? Sometimes the pendulum swings too far in one direction, but that doesn’t mean the world is over. Rather, I think the importance needs to be on picking yourself up and starting back on the right course, instead of over-compensating or beating yourself up.
3. How we see ourselves/vocalize our thoughts when trying on different clothing items. This is tied with the use of the word fat. Sure an outfit might not fit you exactly how you expected or want it to, but saying it makes you look fat adds to the negative feelings associated with certain items. I.e. a bathing suit. This is something I really struggled with after I had Logan. I expected to lose the baby weight a lot faster than I did, so when summer time came around, I felt “fat” in all of my swimsuits. Sure, I had a little extra around the middle, but I just recently looked back at pictures from our Martha’s Vineyard vacation and found myself thinking, “Wow, I look pretty good! You can’t even tell I still have few extra pregnancy pounds to lose.” That’s the funny thing about perspective, right?
– Ravelle
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